Back on Blogger and Ready to be Real.

Well, here I am, back in the world of blogging. Once again I am brought here mostly because of my friend Brandon. It is my friends like him that I care about and I want them to know what is going on in my life. Because he is thousands of miles away, this is how I can let a friend like him know what is going on in my life. This is my journal, this is my heart.

I am hurting. I have never reached a bottom in my life as deep as this. I never knew it could be this deep. Life is dark and lonely, it feels cold and empty. But in times like this, when we are stripped from everything that we held of importance in life, that God is present. There is nothing to see or hold to in darkness, only God's presence is known.
Why is it when we have all our cards lined up in "our order of importance" that we fall? Then the only card we have left to hold on to is God. He is faithful and will never leave us, even though we turn from Him. He wants "His Best" for our lives.
Why did I allow myself to become cold? Why did I turn my life from his path? Why was I not "real" with my best friends who care about me? God did not plan this, but He did allow it.
He has made himself known to me in the past and in High School I was baptized and chose to follow Him. He helps us along the way and guides us as we walk, but He will not strip us of our free will when we choose to walk off His path. He allows us to fall, but He is always there when we do. Will we turn to Him? In my case, yes, I have nothing. If I was to turn from Him also in a time like this then I would have nothing to live for. I thank God for His presence in my life. He not only cares about my life, but He cares about my eternity.
Will it be easy? Certainly Not. All of this that I have said is not easy. I miss my BEST FRIEND that I had. I hurt because the ones that I love are hurting (family and friends). I can only hope that my life will be a testimony to others. I pray that God will use me through this as He helps me through it. I am thankful for the love and support from family and friends in this time. I am thankful to God for His presence in my life and I pray for the many people in the world that go through hard times with no hope, I pray that God will be known to them.

"Hear my prayer, O Lord;
Give ear to my supplications in your faithfulness;
answer me in your righteousness.
Do not enter into judgment with your servant,
for no one living is righteous before you."
-Psalm 143

"Let me hear of your steadfast love in the morning,
for in you I put my trust.
Teach me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul."
-Psalm 143

Thanks Brandon, and all my friends for their encouragement and support. I hope that I can be the same for all of you.
-Love Joseph