Good

God is Good.
I love motorcycles. I love the feeling of riding down the road on a beautiful summer day, the feeling of the wind blowing against me, the feeling of handling the bike through the curves of an open country road. If you could see me through my helmet you would notice the grin. Sometimes I become aware of the fact that I am unconsciously smiling and I chuckle to myself because my mind is lost somewhere in a state of euphoria. God has created me as the person that I am, the adventure seeker or the creative thinker; this is what God intended when He made me. When I experience “good”, I experience God. This is my inspiration. It is moments in life like these that I can offer praise to my Creator for the inspiration He has given me, and this recharges my desire to serve Him as I live my purpose.

If God is for us, who can be against us?

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:35...37-39

I sit in silence with God and I hear His soft voice speak to my life. "I love you, I forgive you, you are my child and I am delighted in you." I am not perfect and I don't think that I deserve forgiveness and love... but yet, justice is served. God pours out his grace on my life and I find comfort and rest in His loving arms.

Today I learned humility. God has brought my life to the point that it is at today, giving me strength each day and shaping my character. It is with God's strength that I can stand and humbly admit my weakness.

I'm encouraged to go out and Break a Leg! After I am asked... "How's your limp?" This limp that I walk with... It is my weakness that has made me strong. My strength comes from God.

That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. -2 Corinthians 12:10

Break a leg!

I received a "Good Luck" today. Although I think that effect comes from choice and not by chance. On the other hand, Break a Leg, I like that one... who ever thought that up? "Break a leg" How does that count as an encouragement?

Either way... I like it! Sounds like my style. ha!

Give it your all, No Fear!

Not perfect, but loved... the gospel of grace

Henri Nouwen writes:

In my mind's eye, I see Rembrandt's painting The Return of the Prodigal Son. The dim-eyed old father holds his returned son close to his chest with an unconditional love. Both of his hands, one strong and masculine, the other gentle and feminine, rest on his son's shoulders. He does not look at his son but feels his young, tired body and lets him rest in his embrace. his immense red cape is like the wings of a motherbird covering her fragile nestling. He seems to think only one thing: His is back home, and I am glad to have him with me again.
So why delay? God is standing there with open arms, waiting to embrace me. He won't ask any questions about my past. Just having me back is all he desires.

"The Ragamuffin Gospel"
page 190

The Cruise is Over

I am back home in Canada, the land of ice and snow. I am freezing and I want the sunshine back. You know it is funny how the moment I got to the airport in Fort Lauderdale I immediately put on my shorts and sandals and enjoyed the hot weather. Then after traveling south to Columbia, Panama etc where the weather got increasingly hotter as we approached the equator I became more accustomed to the temperature that when we finished the trip in Fort Lauderdale again it felt cold there even though it was roughly the same temperature. I have no problem to adapting to the warmth; I think I was supposed to live where it is hot. If I can grow a coconut tree in my back yard then I am living where I should be. Mmmmmmmm Coconuts. I ate one every chance I had when I was off the ship.
Ok so the purpose of my trip was to celebrate my Opa and Oma’s (Grandpa and Grandma - German) 60th wedding anniversary with my family. They took all 22 of us… wait… I mean all 18 of us along. Some couldn’t come for various reasons such as being only 8 months old, etc; although they were all missed.
So it was definitely an awesome time with family and we all had a great time. I am blessed to have such a wonderful family that loves and cares for each other. Also, as I have said in a previous post about my Grandparents, I love them so much and am so glad to have the relationship that I have with them. They mean the world to me and I will never forget this experience together with them. The cool thing that I have often thought about is remembering the trip to Italy that I had with my Nonno and Nonna (Grandpa and Grandma – Italian) years ago. Even though my Nonna is gone now after passing away 7 years ago, I will forever cherish all the memories that I have of her; Like Nonna and I sitting at the train station in Millan eating bread and salami that we had snuck into her purse from dinner the night before. “Ti amo Nonna”
Maybe that’s it… Maybe that is part of the answer to dealing with loosing the ones that you care about the most. Cherishing the memories of the good times together, if that is the case then it certainly is important to make every effort to spend time with and value the ones that we still have. That being said, then this trip was an amazing experience. I love my Opa and Oma so much, they mean the world to me and I will never forget this experience together with them.
Huh, this post certainly took quite the turn. How should I tie it all back to the start?
I am so Cold! I wish that I was climbing up a palm tree right now to get a coconut.

WOW...

Internet is expensive...
The Sun is Hot...
Costa Rica is AWESOME!

Sorry for the lack of posts... I miss you all.

Jamaica

Sitting Outside on a Sunny Sunday…

The sun is shining and the air is hot. How can I not sit outside and enjoy the sunshine? For those who don’t know, I am currently aboard the MSC Lirica cruise ship on an 11 day trip to Panama and back. Since I have left the snow in Canada last week, I have traveled 1131.5 nautical miles from departure in Fort Lauderdale with 136 to go until we reach Columbia tomorrow morning. In between there we stopped in Jamaica (Beautiful Country) Today we are sailing through 7-12 foot waves across the Caribbean Sea on way to Columbia. I don’t know how to put into words how awesome it is to look over the side of the ship out across the vast expanse of open sea, to see the waves crash against the side of the ship, and to watch the flying fish “jump/fly” out of the water.

Well now that I find my life here aboard a very large ship sailing south what a great opportunity to not forget about home and everything that is temporarily happening there, but to be able to reflect on the truth, who I really am, and the great things that God is doing in my life. I am enjoying both my time here with my family and experiencing God’s amazing creation.

...the greatest of these is Love.

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Wow, So Valentines Day… Certainly did not turn out the way I would have wanted it to but definitely the way God wanted me to experience it. Just like this last Christmas, although I knew the “Sunday school” version, this year I gained the “experiential” version.
I am truly blessed and encouraged to see God at work in the lives of all those around me. That is what God is all about, changing the lives of those who turn to Him. Who knew that my night would turn out the way that it did? God knew. I had a great time with someone that I can truly call a friend, listening to their love for God and the work that He is doing in their life. I am inspired by their testimony and my life is enriched because of it. God intended us to live in community; by loving each other and sharing we can strengthen one another as we all grow in our own lives.
Though my heart aches for what I have lost, my heart also rejoices for what I have gained.
No, Love is not something that should be left to a single day, a day that we make a point of being loving, this should be who we are as we live each day of our lives loving both God and others. So I think that Valentines Day, rather than being an isolated day out of the year that we make a point to express our love to those around us, can be a day like New Years. A day where we can be reminded to evaluate our lives in the past year and to make a resolution to the coming year; that we will express God’s love to all of those around us as we continue to express our love to God himself.

Back in the Game!

Riding yesterday at Mount St. Louis.

The big ones are the best! You had to pin it from the top of the hill to even clear the gap.

Loosing the ones you care about the most.

Have you ever lost your “Best Friend” or someone you love? How do you cope with that? When a sudden tragedy tears you apart and you are left in the end feeling alone and empty. The pain and hurting is more than “real” all you can do is wish that you had that person to be with you through the tough time. How can you stop loving when you loved with your whole heart? How do you wake up from a nightmare only to find out the truth, that it was real?
I’m not sure I have an answer, if there even is one. I suppose reality is something that is undeniable regardless of ones awareness of that reality.
I do however know what the answer is not, which really is a multitude of things to turn to in hope to extinguish the pain and confusion. This is why I turn to what really matters and to the truth. I choose to never give up, life is bigger and I have a purpose. I will never stop loving and a nightmare will never stop me from dreaming.

Don’t ever take for granted what you have today, because you never know what you’ll wake up to tomorrow to find that you have lost.

Meet Tuza

Sawubona, this is my friend Tuza. I met Tuza eight years ago when I lived in South Africa for 6 months during my DTS (Discipleship Training School) with YWAM (Youth With A Mission). Tuza and I became great friends during my time on outreach living in the Khayelitsha Township outside of Cape Town. He is truly my African brother, he taught me how to live like an African; everything from teaching me to speak Zulu and Xhosa, learning tribal dances, to eating the gastrointestinal tract of a goat. He even gave me my African name... "Sibusiso" "Inkukhu ehlala phansi kwamanzi" all right so the second part I made up and Tuza translated it, if you ask me I'll tell you what it means.
So why am I writing this? Well this morning I spoke with Tuza on the phone; he called me just before I left for work. I was so happy to hear from him, as I always am. I love listening to his accent, it reminds me of living in Africa and the people there. I miss Tuza, he is someone who I have never forgotten and many times I dream of the day when him and I can once again hang out under the African sky.
Currently Tuza is involved in starting up a ministry in the Nyanga Township also outside of Cape Town near Khayelitsha. The minstry is involved in different ways to help the people of Nyanga, from providing aid to those with HIV/Aids, to setting up programs to get the youth involved in with the effort to diminish the increasing violence and crime within the township. Our conversation was only brief but I am encouraged and look forward to hearing more from Tuza about the work that he is doing to help others in South Africa.
Tuza is one of the many African friends I made who all have a big part in shaping who I am and how I choose to live my life to this day. Also, just simply, my experience of living in South Africa within the impoverished townships surrounded by people who have far less than I do, is a constant reminder to not become selfish here in Canada with the overabundance that we have. I suppose this was an experience that God has used to put a passion in my heart, and this is why I choose to change things in my own life. I try to do what I can to stand up for my African brothers and sisters, even to deny myself Christmas presents and instead support MCC as they provide aid for those in need. I am far from perfect, and it is very hard to live an unselfish life, but I am truly thankful for the country that I live in and the countless opportunities that we have. God has blessed me with a great job, a great family, and great friends. As I strive to live up to my “African name”, I hope and pray that my life may be a blessing to all of those around.

Hamba kahle!
-[ Go well ]-

Nkosi, sikelel' iAfrika
-[Lord, bless Africa]-

If you go Boarding.... Wear a Helmet!

Believe me; the fractured skull, seizures, four months in a neck brace, and loss of hearing, is not worth the Helicopter ride that you can’t even remember anyways.

Grandparents

My parents are gone yet again on another trip down south. This time they are in St. Kitts, and no, they are not at the Capri Inn on Ontario St. Not “St. Catharines – St. Kitts” I mean the “real” St. Kitts in the Caribbean. This is where our farm workers are from, my parents have always told them that they would love to one day come and visit them at home, now they finally are. So once again Bandit and I hold the fort.
Well the week is almost over and I still haven’t had to cook anything yet, kinda nice, but the fridge is now empty of leftovers and I have begun my grocery list. Another bonus is getting invited out for dinner, my Opa and Oma had me over for dinner last night and I had a great time.
I love my Opa and Oma. My relationship with my grandparents has had an amazing impact on my life. They have both been a big part of my childhood and contributed greatly to my development in both my spiritual and daily life. I have so many good memories with them when I look back, from sleepovers at their house with friends to visiting them yearly in their Florida home. I have also learned lots from them over the years from the many conversations with them, as well as learning from how they live their lives with the principles and values that they hold strong to. I love my Opa and Oma, and I thank them for their part in shaping the person that I am today.
Last night I was able to have a wonderful evening together with them. My Oma’s cooking is always delicious, Jeopardy is always educational, and our conversation was both spiritually uplifting and filling with knowledge from their life experiences. To sit down in conversation with them I am always eager to gain wisdom from their experiences of life. If asked, my Opa would humbly admit that he is not wise, but I have to disagree, his character and his life inspire me. There is so much that I have already and can continue to learn from him. I am truly blessed to have such wonderful and loving grandparents in my life.
I am still young, I have the rest of my life to develop my character, I can only hope that one day I too will be blessed (God willing) to sit down in conversation with my grandson and inspire him.

The fear of the Lord is the begining of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and insruction.
-Proverbs 1:7

Upgrade your Gray Matter

Alright, so enough about my knee. Sure, I must admit I have been bummed out because of it, although not because of pain. Pain is relative and when it comes to physical pain, I have a high threshold. I have just been unsettled about feeling so incapacitated; I don't like limping. Alright, so enough about my knee...

This may come as a shock to some of you... I have been reading a book! I know that I may come across as a very studious type, but in reality I am almost at the opposite end of the spectrum from friends of mine such as Jason, who study GREAT BOOKS at University. I say "almost' because I do read a little and by that I should admit that I have been reading "The Boat Who Wouldn't Float" by Farley Mowat for about a year and a half now. I am roughly three quarters through a 197-page novel, and the last chapter I read was probably 3 months ago. You can stop laughing now!
That is not the book I am talking about, actually I have been reading a book that at one point in time I was given a copy and told to read it, however I didn't want to because I thought that there was just way too much "hype" about this book. I thought it was just a Christian marketing and money-making ploy. To say the least I was very cynical. (Side note: that is one of the many things that God is working on in my life)
"The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren, complete with a green ribbon heading on the front cover that reads "The #1 New York Times Bestseller", that kind of a statement may turn you onto or away from a book like this. In my case it was the later, until now.
I am over half way through this book and cannot put it down. For those of you who have read it already I know it says to read it for 40 days, one day at a time. But to be honest, some days there is so much to absorb that I have to read that chapter again. As I make my way through the book and write down my thoughts in my journal, I can't help but to think about reading this book again in a year from now together with my journal, when circumstances in my life are different. I am excited to read the biblical truths in a book like this from a new perspective on my life and to look back to what I wrote in my journal and see what God had taught me at this time. So, to sum it all up, I am really enjoying this book. I have learned new truths and reaffirmed many that I already knew, God is at work in my life, but only because I have allowed Him to be.
If anyone is interested, I recommend this book.
Wow, I sound like LeVar Burton from “Reading Rainbow”
“But you don’t have to take my word for it!”

Can't I just buy a new Knee on eBay?

So it is official... My ACL is torn completely from my femur.
And I think he removed part of my meniscus. (I was not in a fully conscious state when Dr. Robert came by after to talk to me.)
*sigh... Do you ever wish you could go back in time to prevent an accident from happening? I do, but unfortunately I am not friends with Dr Emmett Brown, or Michael J. Fox for that matter. So I guess I have to just accept that accidents happen and not dwell on wishing they didn't, then I can learn and make changes because of them. Okay, so except the wrecked knee and keep on living. Go snowboarding but be cautious to prevent it from happening again. Yeah... Go Snowboarding! I can't wait!
Unfortunately I have to make my way around on crutches again, hopefully only for a few days if that, but then it is back to the life of limping. I will do my best to recover quickly and I will know better what is happening next when I see my Surgeon in a week. I have a dressing on my knee and I am tempted to take it off, I want to see the incision in my knee. The nurse told me not to but I am curious, we will see if I can wait the week or if my curiosity gets the best of me. Although the last thing I want is an infection in my knee because that already happened to my other knee and put me into the Hospital for 6 months. 6 Months means the winter will be over without snowboarding. I can't let that happen.
So all together my surgery went well, except for the bad news on the condition of my knee, although I already assumed it was so. There was also the difficult time the nurse had trying to get my vein for the intravenous. She kept poking around and I kept laughing, I told her that my other side works better (I just know this from so many times getting IV). So sure enough she tries the other side and... Voila!
Also the general anesthetic worked great, I can't believe how instantly they can knock you out. It’s Crazy! And just as instantly as you go out, you wake up. Unfortunately waking up means that reality sets in and ... I'll just leave it at that.
So I am not perfect, and I am broken... but I am blessed to have friends and family that accept me just the way I am.

Broken

Well here I go again another one of my many visits to the Hospital. Sometimes it seems like I should just live there. You name it; I’ve broken it. Nose, Thumb, Rib, Foot, Knee, Heart, Skull… the list goes on!
Good to know though that not all injuries in my life are a result of extreme sports, because I was beginning to think I should give them up. Heck, when you truly feel pain in life, fracturing your skull and wearing a neck brace seems like a walk in the park. But you got to get up and try again. I know that I can make it through anything that comes my way in life and learn something from it; I now wear a helmet when I snowboard. I can break my head but I will never stop snowboarding. I can bust my knee but I will never stop jumping. I can break my heart but I will never stop loving.
So once again under the knife, this Thursday I go for surgery, Arthroscopic Medial Menisectomy to be exact. This is the first of two operations that I will have to undergo. The second will be a re-construction of my ACL. What does that mean? Well for those of you who didn't know, I tore my ACL in my left knee (it is the ligament that basically holds your knee together) while snowboarding last March. I hit a jump, landed badly, and it felt like my knee exploded! After making my way to the side of the hill, un-strapping, and trying to walk it off, It still didn't seem right so I rode down to the ski clinic and iced my swollen knee for a few hours. However, the day was still young and the conditions were great, so of course I went back out riding. It hurt to walk. It didn't hurt to ride. So I rode. Now those of you who snowboard, you may understand this, those who don't may not, but there was this Huge Table-Top at the bottom of the Terrain Park. All I can say to describe it was that it was LARGE and PERFECT, a jump that you can only dream of. Did I mention that the snow conditions were great? So naturally, me with my full-blown ACL, how could I resist? I can just go for the big air; nothing fancy, just don't fall. Wow, it was amazing! I think I spent almost the rest of that day hitting that jump only. That was my last day boarding last year and what a way to finish off the season.
Then the car ride home, my knee swelled up and by the time I got home it was so stiff and sore. I could hardly walk. I went to the Hospital, and by that I mean my best friend literally carried me into the emergency. I had some x-rays taken that I can now add to my already abundant portfolio, just to prove that my bones were not broken. I think a broken bone would have been better than a torn tendon because at least bones can heal themselves.
Isn't it amazing how resilient the human body actually is?
So this Thursday is my surgery, I can’t help but to think that the general anesthetic will be a welcome temporary break from all sense of emotion, but after I get to look forward (*sarcasm*) to lying in bed with my prescription of Tylenol 3’s (which I probably won’t take anyways because I never do. I prefer to tough it out rather than rely on meds).
Well all I can say now is that I pray for a speedy recovery and SNOW!

New Beginings

Another new year, another chance for us to make a fresh start. So what is it this year? Eat less junk food, exercise more, make more use of my free time, serve more...? The list goes on. If I am going to be able to make any change in my life, I need to change my heart. I think that our lifestyle is a true representation of our heart. If my heart desires a healthy lifestyle then I will exercise more and eat right. If my heart is living for God's purpose then my life will be lived as one that reflects Him.

This past Sunday morning at my church our "new years" service was comprised of singing, testimonies, and baptisms. What a great service to ascribe worth to God in community, especially at this time of year when we seem to take the time to evaluate our lives and make new commitments or changes. It is great to hear the testimonies of others and how God has brought them through their life struggles and experiences to the place in their lives now where they are ready to make a public commitment to living their life for God. We can give God the glory for the work that he has done in their hearts now that they have chosen to follow Him, God reveals Himself to all people and they have chosen to see God with their heart open to Him.
So, as I sat reflecting on the work that God had been doing in the hearts of other believers, I couldn't help but to think, especially considering my circumstances, that I too need to re-commit my life to God, (i.e. put my de-railed train back on track). I also need to write this down so that I never forget it, because I ALWAYS need to be at this place in my life where I am re-committing my life to Him. Or maybe to better say it, just simply reflecting always on the condition of my heart and to remember the commitment that I have made to follow Christ. Once we allow our heart's desires to fade or slip away, then so too will our lifestyle.
Whoever is reading this, even myself, never stop evaluating your heart condition. What is your heart living for? What is your purpose in life? That is your lifestyle. That is who you are.
Make a commitment to change. Make a difference in this world.


You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
-Isaiah 26:3

All I want for Christmas is... YOU!

So this is Christmas.
About a month or so ago, when all the questions of "What do you want for Christmas?" began, I sat down one day to think about that very question. What do I want for Christmas? Socks, underwear, clothes, food? These are all things I need, but I have them all in abundance, heck I even have a job and I can afford to buy these things for myself. So I have what I "need", Then what do I "want"? A new Mini Cooper "S", Playstation 3, a new iPod? What good is any of that? I am just making a list for one reason only, so that people can buy me something. Why is our society so consumeristic? I don't really want any of that.
If you would have asked me a month ago what I wanted for Christmas, I would have told you that I have everything that I "need" and I would be selfish to make a list of things that I "want". Therefore, what I would have told you is that I want someone else in this world who is not as fortunate as I am to have what they "need" for Christmas. That is what I "want", I want others to have what they "need". So I made sure that everyone who was going to be getting me something for Christmas knew what I wanted and to get me something from MCC's Christmas Giving Project. (http://www.mcc.org/christmas/)
I hope and pray that my Christmas Present this year will help make a difference in this world.

The real reason for today...
What do I want for Christmas? Ask me today and I will tell you. I want something that was already given to me. I want the "gift" that I have had all along.
Have you ever remembered loosing one of your favorite toys growing up? You spend hours, days, and weeks looking for it. Then time goes by along with the sadness of loosing it, until you begin to forget you ever even had it. Then one day, there it is under your bed all along, everything comes back to you. You are filled with overwhelming joy. Possibly even greater joy than when you received the toy in the first place because now it has become much more to you.
That is how I feel. I have lost the importance of God's Love in my life. In the past Christmas's have gone by. They all seem the same. Christmas to me became this trite holiday, the same thing year after year, I knew the story, I knew the songs. What I was loosing though was the "real" reason. And I knew the "Sunday School" answer (Because God so Loved the world He sent his one and only Son).
Yesterday, the Christmas Eve service at my church spoke to me, to slow down, to look past all the "plastic" holiday traditions that we have put on Christmas, to listen to God, to reflect on the real reason of Christmas. In the stillness of that silent night 2000 years ago, God sent His Son. As I sat there reflecting I could not help but think that the Christmas Story is not any different than the Easter Story and that the two of them together make sense. Christmas time is the "beginning" It is God's love come to earth for us. We are not perfect and we will never be able to make our lives worthy enough for God. But because of His love for me, This Christmas I have received the BEST Christmas Present. It was not what I asked for, but it was what God knew I needed, His Love.

Back on Blogger and Ready to be Real.

Well, here I am, back in the world of blogging. Once again I am brought here mostly because of my friend Brandon. It is my friends like him that I care about and I want them to know what is going on in my life. Because he is thousands of miles away, this is how I can let a friend like him know what is going on in my life. This is my journal, this is my heart.

I am hurting. I have never reached a bottom in my life as deep as this. I never knew it could be this deep. Life is dark and lonely, it feels cold and empty. But in times like this, when we are stripped from everything that we held of importance in life, that God is present. There is nothing to see or hold to in darkness, only God's presence is known.
Why is it when we have all our cards lined up in "our order of importance" that we fall? Then the only card we have left to hold on to is God. He is faithful and will never leave us, even though we turn from Him. He wants "His Best" for our lives.
Why did I allow myself to become cold? Why did I turn my life from his path? Why was I not "real" with my best friends who care about me? God did not plan this, but He did allow it.
He has made himself known to me in the past and in High School I was baptized and chose to follow Him. He helps us along the way and guides us as we walk, but He will not strip us of our free will when we choose to walk off His path. He allows us to fall, but He is always there when we do. Will we turn to Him? In my case, yes, I have nothing. If I was to turn from Him also in a time like this then I would have nothing to live for. I thank God for His presence in my life. He not only cares about my life, but He cares about my eternity.
Will it be easy? Certainly Not. All of this that I have said is not easy. I miss my BEST FRIEND that I had. I hurt because the ones that I love are hurting (family and friends). I can only hope that my life will be a testimony to others. I pray that God will use me through this as He helps me through it. I am thankful for the love and support from family and friends in this time. I am thankful to God for His presence in my life and I pray for the many people in the world that go through hard times with no hope, I pray that God will be known to them.

"Hear my prayer, O Lord;
Give ear to my supplications in your faithfulness;
answer me in your righteousness.
Do not enter into judgment with your servant,
for no one living is righteous before you."
-Psalm 143

"Let me hear of your steadfast love in the morning,
for in you I put my trust.
Teach me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul."
-Psalm 143

Thanks Brandon, and all my friends for their encouragement and support. I hope that I can be the same for all of you.
-Love Joseph